The Ibuprofen, or long-nosed bat

The Ibuprofen has a range of about 15 sq. mi. in Central Mexico. It is admired by locals for its stark white state of mind.

Botanists discover a new variety of onion!

Named the Fairford-Gratz-Blooie after its discoverers, the onion, discovered in a "garden gone wild" behind an abandoned mansion in Kentucky,. often grows to a diameter of 4". (Wao!)  ~ We'll be serving a few of them grilled, with or without hot sauce, at the 22nd Annual Beaches Blues Fest at Your Ward News, 163 Main St. @ Gerrard St. E. on Saturday, Dec. 19th. Arrive soon afterr 6:30 pm for best seats! Live music starts at 7:30 pm. C U there!

Saturday, Dec. 19th @ "Your Ward News", 163 Main St. will boast 3 B's::

BOSS, BITCHIN' and BYOO-TAYY! ~ We're talkin' 'bout the 22nd Annual Beaches Christmas Blues Fest here, whose two 'top-shelf' featured acts will play the Blues, PLUS Classic R&B, rock, roll, gospel, and, and... well, U should just come on out to SEE & HEAR. Details are elsewhere on this website. ~ How can U not be captifriknvated by the Bonnie Memphis duo, followed by !50! minutes of the 
Party Music and Soul Ballad-ry of The Lee Van Leer Show? And then, an Open Jam 'til 10:53 p.m. ~ R U Red-E Turoq and BE rocked? Well, just c'mon over!
and remember, all musical Events at Your Ward News are All-Ages -- no alcohol
is served. Your 14-yr.-old guitar prodigy can join us, + your grand-daughter, too, Mr. & Mrs. Boomer! :-)

Guy Fawkes/resetting clocks Day!!

First, PRAISE to LeRoy St. Germaine, publisher of Your Ward News.  ~  LeRoy, as an inveterate Event Promoter, thanks to U using your "Your Ward News" HQ and Office at 163 Main Street (@ Gerrard St. E.) in Toronto, ON as an All-Ages Event
venue, U are finally "doing RIGHT" by the musical performers who commit to your "Special Events" such as last night's !superb! Hallowe'en Party.  The Ca$h
Guarantee that I'd promised to pay the members of  "Lee Van Leer's WARP DRIVE KITTENS" and "Martin and Cain" trio out of my own pocket was  covered
!hours in advance! by LeRoy, as was most of the $$ that I shelled out to help
the venue "function better", IMO, and to keep the performers and my personal guests refreshed with vessels of H2O and cans of Club Soda.  ~~~~   "Big Ups"
here to Karen Lee Wilde/Wylde for her thorough cleaning of 163 Main St. and prepping the venue for the Event , including supplying and installing stage backdrop lighting in ideal Hallowe'en orange! ~ Karen also treated us to a
fine "after party" set of her fine music with audience participation incl. some
Surprise Guests.  ~~~~  THE SUNDAY ALL-AGES JAM/Open Stage @ Your Ward News continues !most joyfully! (starting sometimes at THREE pm, not always 2 pm as advertised).  ~  Re-MEM-buh!, these Sunday All-Ages thangs can also be a place to "Showcase" duos and bands! (All vocal styles welcome EXCEPT "SCREAMO"!!)  ~~  Readers n  Followers DO PLEASE JOIN US!

A Liberal Party majority Federal government!

Of course I realize that in many electoral districts this was not a pro-Justin Trudeau vote, but an anti-Stephen Harper vote. SO, we got the CHANGE that many of us wanted, and, if JT or his Party ultimately disappoint us, in four years we can vote them OUT of office. I'll sleep well tonight -- I've

another BUSY DAY 2moro!!

Oct 12, 2015 Happy (Canadian) Thanksgiving Day.

SPECIAL "spiritual hugs" to my closest friends: U know who you are! in USA,
Canada & Europe, and to MY FAMILY in Oakville  and "Durham": DB. KB. CLB.
DM  and RF. <> On this day and EVERY day, we all have SOME thing to be Thankful for. ~ May the Great Spirit protect & guide us ALL! ~ 

and so we began hiking up the mountain.

That night I volunteered to take first watch. (The snow tiger is extinct.)
"We've got to keep moving!" AND THAT'S WHEN WE SAW THE YETI.

I accidentally stumbled upon "Freaks And Geeks". I watched FIVE episodes...

...sometimes laughing out loud. I'd better stop B4 it becomes a habit.
I AM over 18, but...  (should I admit this?) I've enjoyed a LOT of teen
flicks. When I was 24 and 29 I had teen-aged girl friends. They were intelligent AND HOT! Lucky me, hey? 20-year-olds were pretty magical, too!

Yes, my present lady is 54 1/2, but next month I'll be 72. I sure
am fortunate that I look 9 years younger than my real age!

Yamaha "Arranger" keyboardes from '83-'84 are still out there,

and often in FINE condition, sometimes for sale by the original owner.
I just picked up another (PS-55) for $65 w. pwr. supply and Operator's Manual.
I now have FOUR working and one for parts. I love 'em dearly! ~ I'll play this one at the Sunday Jams at 163 Main St. @ Gerrard St. E. ~ BTW, their model #s are PS-35, PS-55 and PC-1000. Their "jazz organ " voice sounds SO-O-O Hammond, especially through a Leslie!

This WristLink will keep you hooked up to the Time Travel Machine in the event of an onslaught of silliness and utter absurdity.

"Black-eyed children" update.

"Black-eyed children" now knock on doors asking to borrow a can opener.
If can opener is provided it is suddenly imbued with awesome power,
enabling it to be used for dismantling automobiles. A "magic carport" will
appear on your front lawn, wherein dismantled autos will be teleported to Somewhere Else. If you value your car or light truck, don't lend a can opener
to "black-eyed children"!

A pitcher is worth...

1) several bottles or cans..
2) several retired outfielders whose major league careers were brief.
3) more money than I earned in X decades!

My name is Ovni Mufon.

  I'm a Canadian citizen living in Belize. I've discovered and perfected a way to make baked goods expand immensely in size.
   In September 2016 I expanded a bagel to a diameter of  11' and brought it
back to the present (August 2015). The bagel is now perfectly round and has
taken on a highly reflective glazed appearance.
  On September 4th 2015 using a fleet of RC helicopters I and four associates plan to fly the bagel from  an undisclosed location to Stan Wadlow Park in East
York where we will cause it to hover over the centre of the park at an altitude
of 70' to honour the birthday of D'Arcy J.M. Cain, a true pioneer and expert of the Internet, We do not plan to have the bagel hover for more than 1 min. 40 sec., just long enough for Carol Cain to record the event with her excellent Canon digital camera.
  After moving the bagel and covering it with Canada's fourth-largest tarpaulin,
we will proceed to a secure indoor location to co-host The Great Birthday Party.
  Yummies will include an ice cream cake, sweet pickled tiny onions and
normal sized bagels containing cream cheese

 and fresh strawberries.
 

The Best Non-Fiction-sounding Title Of 2015.

1. The Assassination Of Secretary Of State Beaufort Ublome*, His Mistress And Three Kittens

2. That first title is so good, to bloody 'ell with the runner-up!

Happy Summer! "TapinJam" open Stage @ Melange has "stopped" after last Wed. evg. of May 2015.

Keep watching here AND the 'white rectangle' for TapinJam venue updates!

Hovering

There are 600,000 people living on Mars and they look like us.

June 12th: On this day at Manny's Metropole Cafe', "Sillysal" invented ONION RINGS.

And Gord saw that it was good, and ordered onion rings for himself, his wife Mairi and his two children Kayl & Sue, and there was pizza 'n the valley.
Batter up!

we're !PARTING OUT! the Jillard "Lee Van Leer Custom" guitar!

Why? Bcuz everyone who's played it LOVES the neck, but "hates" the "no upper horn" body! Neck is 24 1/2" scale (like a Gretsch) comfortable "D" profile witth
stainless steel medium 'sort-of-jumbo' frets, Gotoh tuning machines & 2 string trees and bone nut ~ A Squier heel plate is included. ~ Hardware for sale: a LOUD (15K) Ibanez
V5 HB pickup ,$75 firm. ~ Gotoh "harmonica" TOM bridge, $X.  ~ Sorry, the HS CASE is NOT for sale!
MORE PICS can be found on Craigslist ad #5138580443. Thank you for viewing this post!

Custom NECK, loud (15K) Ibanez V5 HBPU and
Schaller "harmonica" TOM bridge are consigned
@ CASK Music,1054 Queen St. E., just E. of Pape
Ave., Toronto, ON until sold. ~ Prices are firm!

I'm Dovidl Lindboig, the most INEPT martial artist in this Blog, so they call me...

KUNG FOOLISH! Luckily I have associates like Scar-Bro Pete,
D'Arcy J.M. Cain and Sherri Rhodes to advise me, and to protect me
(sometimes from myself!) ~ Armed with my wonder-weapon Key
Transposer, I can seem Really Competent as organist of "Soul
Instigators", "Lee Van Leer(s Fab Grablins)" and occasional other
musical groups. ~ Oh yes, I can still sing well (key-dependent, of course!) ~ Thank you! Lee Van Leer/
Dovidl Lindboig.

One of my most-fave U.S. factory-made elec. gtrs. is tha Gretsch7628 Committee model.

maple/walnut/maple neck-thru body, 24 1/2" scale, Gotoh hdwe., Gotoh

HB pickups -- what's not to like? Selling one in Canada? Pls keep the price
under $601 CAD and give me an interest-free easy pmt. plan. ~ Ten PD cheques
of $60 ea. would be fine, thank you!

Jillard!

As promised, here are DETAILS! RE: the absolute !PARTY! we had at Melange on 2015-04-22!

...including TWO Birthday celebrants (one 40 and one 60)
plus the Glorious Return of our dear friend, bassist Wayne Munzy!

 

A more-or-less
regular at Melange named John celebrated his 40th B'day with us. Soul
Instigators band members and many other folks signed the Card that his lady brought around.
   Fine vocalist Bridget Taylor celebrated her 60th Birthday with us, singing lead and backup with a number of other performers. Bridget brought her British-born friend Adrian, who's indeed an outstanding performer, singing and playing guitar and bass
and generating a great energy level! ~ It was a joyous surprise for us all when
our dear friend and bassist Wayne Munzy walked in the door, as normally a
family commitment prevents Wayne from joining us on Wednesday evenings.
  It was a treat to be able to perform the Soul Ballad "A Love To Last A Lifetime
Long" which appears on both my CDs, thanks to Rob Ross providing his Fender
Jazz Bass for Wayne to play, and Rob found it very inspiring to see a real rock-
solid pro playing bass after hearing so much about him from myself and others.
  With the many and varied guests plus host Scar-Bro Pete and myself doing
covers and originals, the music went on 'non-stop' and except for a very brief break, I was on-stage for four hours "plus", yet was not tired, even at 'tear-down'
time and afterwards conversing with Bridget and Wayne -- it was all GREAT FUN!  Wednesday's TapinJam at Melange just keeps getting 'bigger and better'!

Bassist Rob Ross: what Rob's Band Member Bio DOESN'T tell you

On Wednesday, April 1st, 2015, Lee Van Leer invited Rob to join "a Lee Van Leer band" and MAYBE also "Lee Van Leer's Fab Grablins", the latter conditional upon
"mini-hearsals" taking place at Rob's or Lee's residences or at an Undisclosed Location in central Toronto, ON.*  ~~  Like the firefly who backed into an electric fan, we're !DELIGHTED!, hehe, that Rob accepted the offer!

*LVLFG was ALWAYS a well-rehearsed band, even under its previous name, "Van
Leer-the-band" which is why it sounded SO GOOD!

HTTP and HTML: Hardtop and Hate Mail!

The pic  (thank you, Carol Cain!) shows one of Lee Van Leer's two Roland JX3P synths. ~~ Though they're over 30 yers old, both are in Excellent condition and
are still classified as Serious Professional Gear!

Sid Stern, who had owned a TV rcvr. manufacturing co. ...

in his home town Windsor, ON back from, uh, 1952 (the TV sets were called "Venus") began to hang around Rochdale College in the '70s, maybe even LIVED there , I don't remember... well, he bought a (new?) gold-top Gibson Les Paul
Standard gtr. for us all to jam on at the 2nd Floor Lounge jam sessions that
happened 1 or more? nights per week. ~ now, there was this African-Canadian
Sheldon "Shelly" Miller,(a drummer) from Montreal, I guess, who began wearing
a sash or call-it-what-u-will, a headband, u could say, Which made him look kinda like Jimi Hendrix, but shorter, who after the gtr. had been around 'Rochtown, The Vertical Village', as I liked to call it, for about a month, STOLE it and vanished.
Everyone thought, "Shelly Miller is the biggest f-cking asshole we've seen this year!" ~ However, 3 weeks later, Shelly Miller RETURNED (from Mtl., apparently) with... A WHITE  FENDER STRATOCASTER, new-looking, and
handed it to Sid Stern, so that he, Shelly, could strap it on @ the jams,
and look "very Hendrix" with his headband and all. It seemed that drummer
Shelly could play SOME guitar, rhythm and some simple leads, so WAO, WHAT A TALE, HEY? ~ When I lived in Rochdale with
my Rochester, N.Y.-born lady Sandie Bishop in the "14th-floor commune"
then later by myself on the 4th flr., rent discounted or FREE, I 4get which,
I owned a biz there which I called "CJ's Videoland" (I was known as "CJ"
back then until June '84 when I 4ever DIVORCED MYSELF from the
nickname and became "Lee" John Feeny. ~ In CJ's Videoland I sold used
TV sets for $30 - $40 each. They cost me $7 ea.! ~ I bought them from out of the bsmt. of Len Weinberg's TV and stereo store on Dundas St. W. near Keele St. ~
I had 2 techs who worked waay affordably on a piecework basis if the sets needed fixing. FACT: most problems w/ old tube-type TV sets were usually just
a matter of replacing a tube or tubes.  I knew a guy w/ a electronic repair shop who had a "tube tester" machine, who sold me used tubes for a buck apiece.
Ah, those were the days, my friend! ~ Now a funny story about Len Weinberg
and I.  I wasn't supposed to test the basement TV's, just "take my chances", BUT
I always arrived @ Len's with a 9-ft. extension cord wrapped around my waist
under my sweatshirt, and a 'thang' that could screw into any light bulb socket
that one could plug any 2-prong plug into. In Len's bsmt. there were 2 basic light
fixtures hanging from the ceiling -- I'd remove the lt. bulb from one, screw my
'thang' into it, plug in my xtn. cord and if a TV set showed a "raster" (which
means that the screen lights up), I would buy it! SO, I was never caught w/ a set
that had a burned-out picture tube. Yay, CJ! ~ By the way, Sandie Bishop Ashley
and I are still great friends as is her longtime husband Ross Ashley. Some day
I'll invite the Ashleys to a TapinJam night @ Melange, and they WILL come
if its the 1st 5-6 days of a month. ~ Footnote: Sandie's the only T.O.-based
friend of mine who's on good terms with, and socializes with, my lady from
Thornhill ON, Sherri Rhodes. ~ Sandie's 5'2" as is my 1st wife Donna, mother
of my daughter Debbie (Donna and I are still great friends, too!). After Sandie, I made myself a RULE: I will not date any woman under 5'6" . My 2nd wife Patti,
(may she RIP) was 5'7" and DEAR Sherri is 5'9". ~~  Next topic: IF ONLY
back in '84 I knew of performers who used their middle name as a 'stage'
surname, like Vince Neil or Robert John, I NEVER would have adopted
Van Leer as a stage surname! I would have been "Lee John" --
Rock on, Lee John! A month ago I thought of a name: Johnny Joy.
If I'd have thought of THAT one in '84, the nom d'etage of Lee John Feeny
MIGHT have been !JOHNNY JOY! ~ 

Tall-ish, aren't we?

 TTFN, y'all!

A paean to Ms. Isabel Stark (Blue Rodeo fans, PLEASE smile!

Strange n beautiful 'Izzy' Stark tonight
Hottest-looking in our class.
Brains n beauty; !perfect! breasts, ALRIGHT!
(with) an oh, so sweetly rounded ass.

All that I'd ne-e-eed...
  ~~~~~~~~~~    Happy Easter. Pleasant April.
 ~LVL~ 

About: A musical evening of GREAT FUN!

   Greetings!, friends, fans, followers
and "newcomers", 

BE SAFE, BE WELL!! ! ~  2015-04-01 was  !The NEW BEST! "TapinJam" Wednesday at
(the post-renovation) Melange, 172 Main St. @ Gerrard St. E. ~Those of you who couldn't make it MISSED a"supercustomdeluxe!" one, but you've already read all the joyous details in the 'White Rectangle' [GTA Schedule], right?

News Of The Day:

March X, 2015: Luxury school bus brakes for lentil soup.

Canadian bands I like better than Rush:

Headpins, Chrissy Steele, Streetheart, The Influence (live, before their album.)

Don't believe what you see about DeLorean autos in the movies!

The best automobiles for time travel are Buicks manufactured between 1941 and 1960.